I volunteered last night at Rezonate, what a blessing.  I went there with a heavy heart, probably the heaviest heart I’ve had in a long time and wouldn’t you know that when Brian White and Karyn Williams started singing it was like God had hand picked the songs and words to touch my heart.  There I sit with my hubby and The Baby Girl feeling hurt, resentment, rejection, detached and the list could go on and on and then I heard the message that I was worthy of God’s love, that he loved me enough to die on a cross, I’m his child, and song by song I started to find peace.

As usual I texted my sister Melissa and she gave me a pep talk, I’m pretty sure there are times she wishes I didn’t have her cell phone number.  I may send her a knock knock joke today just to show her I’m not all doom and gloom.

Isn’t if funny I volunteered for Rezonate to do “something good” for someone else and I got a huge blessing out of it, God is good.  I know what I know, and I’m at peace with it.  I have a maternal unit that I don’t deserve, that’s my reality.  My sweet hubby reminded me last night that I can’t change people, I can’t make people love me and I need to concentrate on what I do have. 

  • I have a Spare Mom that loves me and is the type of person I want to strive to be like, the type of example I want my girls to look up to. 
  • I have a Daddy that is always going to be there for me and my kids, he’s made peace with the past and so have I. 
  • Did I mention three wonderful kids that I love with everything I have, what a concept right? 
  • Remember that sister I texted yesterday, we don’t share one bit of DNA but a sister she is. 
  • If my scanner was working I’d be sharing The Baby Girl’s vacation pictures from her Aunt Lisa’s, talk about a great sister and a blessing.
  • I have faith! 

The Baby Girl and I are headed to Sunday School this morning and I plan on praising God with a heart full of love, grace and acceptance!!!


About Michelle

I started my blog as a way to connect with other paper crafters and of course it has gone a totally different direction. I've been able to share my experience as a mother, my hurt and disappointments over not having a relationship with my maternal unit, my walk with God and how knowing Him has changed me and continues to help me grow into the person I strive to be......
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