Tonight I was watching Oprah on the DVR and The Judds were being The Judds, quirky, loud and proud. A mother and daughter with “issues”, what a concept right? I hope that when my girls are adults we can have that kind of open communication, it’s not something that comes natural to me so thank God for therapist.
This weekend I was once again “hurt” by someone else’s nastiness, the good news is the hurt lasted about two hours. I wish I knew how to not feel the hurt, how to overlook it, how to ignore it, how to understand, I can’t. I feel it. The good news is a few years ago I would not have felt the hurt, I would have been pissed off. Not anymore, it hurt and I felt it. I prayed about it and I let it go. I admit it helped that I was surronded by a church family, great music and Mr. Wonderful was by my side. I have come so far and you know what I’m proud of ME and I really don’t care if anyone else is.
So today if you are reading here and someone has made you feel less then, has bad mouthed you or your kids, has crossed boundaries in your marriage, or maybe they have just been nasty; PRAY FOR THEM. Yeap, I said pray for them. I have come to the conclusion that when you spend time standing in a retail store spouting off your nastiness and the entire time talking about what peace you’ve found in God you need to be prayed for.
I was talking to my Aunt G tonight and we were discussing the above mentioned nastiness and I told her I wish I had reacted a little better when the story was repeated to me, but I didn’t and I own that. I wish I had just said, “Bless her heart.” I’m a work in progress, and for that I’m thankful. I’m not spouting off nastiness, I’m also not claiming to be at peace. I’m hurt, it’s a new emotion for me. I always covered hurt with anger, now I just feel the hurt, write about it, pray about it, share it with a trusted friend or an awesome aunt which ever I get ahold of first.
I have bigger fish to fry then worrying about someone spouting off some nastiness, I have to figure out how to get The Baby Girl to remember her books in the morning or her packed lunch in the cutest Thirty-One lunch bag, I have to figure out how I’m going to let The First Born move out Friday without acting like a “freak” (her word not mine), or how I’m going to convince Mr. Perfect that no matter how busy he is I’m important. There is nothing or anyone more important to me then the relationship I have with those three kids. They are the reason I’m here on this earth and I can’t imagine life without them. I can’t imagine not worrying about them, loving them, bragging on them….nothing could ever make me stop being a mom.
Our sermon this weekend was, “Doesn’t matter what the problem is — if God isn’t the answer, then your answer isn’t big enough.” Enough said!