I just spent two days at a great conference. I listened, I took notes and I processed, now to put it all into action. Oh wait I won’t be trying to put it all into action because after all where would the balance be.
I left for the conference with a heavy and confused heart, so many people around me hurting and everyone looking out for themselves and not the whole picture. I’d like to say not looking out for the whole family, but over the last few days I’ve come to the conclusion it’s not one family. Sad, but true. I still don’t know what to do with that conclusion, but I know that the first step is coming up with the plan is acceptance.
I am accepting that as adults some of us have “gotten over” more than others. I am accepting that when people don’t want to hear “the rest of the story” they can turn people off and bury their heads. I am accepting that my heart hurts and that as long as I let other people’s actions influence my thinking I am going to continue to hurt. I am accepting that people don’t always know how to be the person you need or want them to be. I am accepting that some people want to feel sorry for themselves and you can’t change that. I am accepting that I am a survivor and I can’t let things I can’t control cause me any more hurt.
I have decided to love people in spite of their faults. I have decided to forgive even if I don’t think “they deserve it”. I have decided to give myself a “time out” and not try to fix things. I have decided not to let myself be hurt by other people’s behavior and to just continue to do what is right.
I am going to journal my feelings, spend time in my craft room, read great books, listen to great music, drink good wine and spend time and energy on people who appreciate the good in life and I will not feel guilty for not allowing myself to be sucked in.