I’ve decided that at least for the next thirty days I’m going to post something on my Facebook wall that I feel thankful/blessed to have. No big surprise today I picked Mr. Wonderful. I tell him all the time how thankful I am to have him as my partner in life, during good and bad he is by my side. Blessed I am. I was smiling from ear to ear when I noticed that he commented back that he’s lucky to have me. I know he feels that way, but it was still nice to see. I’ve blogged in the past that our road had been quite bumpy and most of the bumps weren’t even our own doing. I was talking to a friend today about how hurt I get for him and the nonsense that people who claim to love him throw his way on a regular basis and she reminded me of one of my favorite quotes.
“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” Wayne Dyer
I have to say if this saying is true, there are some folks who better be watching for a semi to come rolling over them. I have asked myself for seven years what I was suppose to learn from the heartache that these mean spirited people have brought to my doorstep. I am starting to “see” the lessons.
- I don’t judge people like I use to, I never will again.
- I will be loving and supportive to my children and their decision in relationships.
- I don’t “stretch” the truth about ailments, I’ve been living “the little boy who cried wolf story” (it’s just not a little boy, it’s an adult) for seven years and it’s not pretty. I have learned to laugh about it though instead of getting angry.
- You don’t hurt people you really love, and by pretending their spouse doesn’t exist you are hurting him whether you want to believe it or not.
I love Mr. Wonderful and I know that the very people who did everything in their power in the past and in the present to come between us have actually made us closer to each other, blessed The Kid with a loving father, and made him see they don’t love him they just want to control him. Sad huh?
I get tickled when I think about these folks and the fact that they call themselves “Christian”. Really. Well I wonder where you missed-
That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24
“Do not judge—or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” Matthew 7:1-4.
A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed. The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly. Proverbs 15:13-14
I use to spend so much time trying to figure out who the prank phone calls were from or why these people wanted Mr. Wonderful alone and single and then we went to counseling and Mr. Wonderful heard loud and clear….”These people do not care about your happiness.” I still remember the counselor telling him if he was marrried to The Mother Theresa they would find fault in her. I just don’t understand it. I have plenty of people that I love and care about and I don’t particularly like their spouse guess what, “I suck it up.”
I spent more sleepless nights wondering how someone could tell me they were “relieved” my infant son died in my arms, but you know six years later I know God allowed me to hear that comment to understand just how sick this individual was. I bet I have told 50 people about this comment and all of them have offered to kick her butt. I know I don’t have to worry about that because she’ll stand before God someday and be held accountable for that statement. It’s not my place to judge. I’ve made it a full-time job to love my husband in spite of it all and make sure we cling to each other even tighter.
So what started out as hearbreaking has turned into a blessing, I will love my children’s spouses whether I like them or not. I will never make my children pick between me or their spouse. I know seems like common sense but nope it’s not believe me.
I have had years of not having to deal with these folks and have been quite content. I wonder when they will realize I am complimented by their dislike of me. It reminds me that birds of a feather really do flock together and since I happen to have a huge heart, am a Christian, strive to do the right thing, have never stolen anything, love to have fun and avoid drama at all cost I totally understand why these folks “don’t like me.” I’m thankful.
I will encourage my own children to be respect their new stepmother. They don’t have to like her and I actually smile when The First Born describes her soon to be stepmother as “different”. I just want them to have a good relationship with their dad and his spouse will be a big part of that relationship so I encourage them to accept the good in her and overlook the quirks. After all don’t we all have quirks? I would be so upset with my kids if they treated this woman with anything but respect and kindness after all what would it say about me as a mom if I raised a couple of heathens. I have learned that some folks just don’t get that, again another blessing.
Mr. Wonderful may not be perfect, but he’s perfect for me! He knows I never asked him to choose, I just asked for him to “protect” me from the craziness and he has. I asked that people who came to home respected me, they couldn’t.
If you are reading this and your a nasty mother-in-law or a pot stirring stepchild be careful you might end up married into a similiar situation. Remember karma. More importantly remember you aren’t hurting the person you are trying to hurt, because the person you are trying to hurt is sitting back shaking their head at how crazy you are….the person you are hurting is the person you claim to love.