Happy Day of Birth Son

I looked at the clock a few minutes ago and realized that 21 years ago I was nursing an infant baby boy, that little guy stole my heart from the minute I laid eyes on him.  His birth story is the best. 

I was living in Fairfield and his dad was stationed overseas, it was a long pregnancy.  I had a two year old and just ole’ me.  I was exhausted.  I just knew that this little guy would make his entrance before the end of the year.  He didn’t. 

January 2nd I woke up around 7:30 a.m. and felt small cramps, around 8:00 the contractions  were really coming.  The hospital told me not to come yet because I was running the sweeper and still doing pretty well.  I had called my mother and she fell back asleep.  I finally woke my then husband and said I think we better get someone here for The First Born this is all happening pretty quick.  We left the house around 8:15 and picked up my sweet Aunt Wanda.  We were in a van and I was laying on the back bench, I did a lot of cussing on the way to the hospital and Aunt Wanda did a lot of praying.  We went to the wrong hospital, when we finally got to the right hospital a semi was blocking the road….we pulled into the hosptial parking lot at 9 a.m. and my baby boy was born at 9:07 a.m.  I delivered him without a O.B., thank God for wonderful nurses.  Did I mention he weighed 10 lbs. 3 ounces and yeap that was natural child birth.

He didn’t have a name, but for nine months I had been brainwashing The First Born that he was going to be “Baby Shane” and not T.J.  That little two year walked into my hosptial room grabbed her little brother’s toe and said, “Hi Baby Shane.”  Smart girl.

When he was two weeks old my then husband left to go back overseas, thanks Uncle Sam.  Little did I know that my life was about to be turned upside down.  The next six months I took care of a two year old, an infant and worked full-time.  I was exhausted, but loved being a mom.  I was young and just getting through this craziness day by day knowing that in June my then husband would come home and we would raise these children together. 

I quit my job in May to prepare for the move we were going to do in June and my then husband came home.  To keep it simple, the move never happened.  I found myself single and without a job.  I never knew fear like that existed.  I was hurt, angry, but most importantly terrified of how I was going to raise these two alone, with no education and not much of a support system.  Add an ex-husband and his mistress and life was about to get crazy.

I decided early on I would take the “High Road” when raising my kids.  I wouldn’t spend my time telling them what a jack ass their father was or how crazy their step mother was (yeap the day after our divorce was finalized he married “her” and then months later had a “fake” wedding) I was going to let my kids fingure it out on their own and they did….did I mention crazy? 

I can honestly say that there were nights when I would get up to give this sweet little boy a bottle and I would sit in the dark and just rock him.  I would talk to him because he was the only person I knew couldn’t repeat my crazy thoughts.  I would tell him that I didn’t care what it would take I was going to protect him and he was going to have a great life with me and his big sister.  I think all and all I kept the promise.  He is the love of my life and he knows it.  That boy has me right where he wants me.

When he was little he didn’t call me “mommy” he called me “mama”.  Now he calls me “Ma”. 

I don’t see his cute face often enough, I don’t hear his voice as much as I should.  He lives life at 100 miles an hour.  Loves a cold beer.  I wish he would spend more time with his sisters, but as he tells me….”Ma, I’m busy.  I work 30 hours a week, go to school.  I’m busy.” 

I texted him at midnight last night and he said that me and The First Born were the first to text him.  That’s the way it should be for years it was just the three of us against the world.  For the record we did just fine.  I know those two are who they are because of me and if I did nothing else right I did that. 

Happy Birthday Shane!

He is a wonderful man and I have people tell me all the time what I great job I did raising him, I agree!!

About Michelle

I started my blog as a way to connect with other paper crafters and of course it has gone a totally different direction. I've been able to share my experience as a mother, my hurt and disappointments over not having a relationship with my maternal unit, my walk with God and how knowing Him has changed me and continues to help me grow into the person I strive to be......
This entry was posted in divorce, family, life, marriage and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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