Keeping It Real-Screw Cancer

On Friday of last week (10/8/10) I reached a milestone, cancer invaded my “inner circle”. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that conversation, the feeling of panic, the tears. I was overwhelmed. I’ve faced it with family, I’ve seen the good side of cancer and the awful side of cancer. I’ve seen it change people both physically and mentally. I remember Aunt Wanda and the fight she fought, talk about a woman with dignity, faith and grit….well I feel like I’m living that again. I’ve never been more proud to call someone friend then I have been in the last five days, Ingrid Fabian is my friend and she is one class act.

I elected myself  as the planner of “Head Shaving 101” and picker outer of the wig.  I loved tonight when she said what color is my wig going to be and I said, “It depends on what day of the week it is.”  She loved it, I knew I would make her laugh.  Her and I know just how to pick each other up.  When I call Ingrid and she answers the phone, she always says, “Hello Princess!”  I think when she calls me tomorrow I will say, “Hello Hero!” 

Tonight after a great conversation where she assured me she was going to beat this dumb cancer and that some dumb doctor had put a number on it, as in Stage 4 Melanoma.  I took a deep breath and said, “I’m just not doing very well with this.”  That’s how we are, we keep it real.  I couldn’t not tell her, I needed her to know that I’m scared and I think it’s unfair.  She doesn’t deserve this, but then who does?

I signed up for “Driving Ms. Daisy Ingrid” on 10/25, we won’t be doing our usual Indian Cuisine I’m sure, but we’ll climb in the car and head to wherever you head for chemo and we’ll do it side by side, her with her great attitude and me with my sarcasm.  I’m sure we’ll find something to laugh at, maybe even someone something to talk about, and I’ll be proud to be a support to my wonderful friend.

So today was my day to drive, she doesn’t do chemo she does radiation.  I still am pissed that she does anything.  I wish we could have spent the day laughing and enjoying each other’s company oh wait that is what we did.  I also know that without the Big C we would have been “busy”, we would have hurried through lunch and then ran back to work.  Not today, we had a blast.

Somehow in this battle this woman took the time to write me a letter for my birthday, didn’t I tell you we know how to keep it real.

October 24, 2010


I wish I could remember the very moment you exploded into my life like a ray of sunshine.  It’s like you have always been there.

You have laughed with me, cried with me and been outrageous with me.  We have shared joys, fears, eccentricities, passions, and just plan silliness.  You’ve made me a better friend, wife, mother and grandmother through sharing your life lessons that I could pass on.

When I watch you, I see unconditional love for life.  Your sunlight makes all around you glow.  I also see a deep unshakable faith.  That failth has been a strength that I didn’t realize I would need until very recently.  I feel calm, safe and secure knowing you are my friend.

The gift I want most to give you on this birthday is for you to realize unconditionally what a gift you are to everyone you come into contact with everyday.  But especially the gift you are to me.  I will treasure you in my life always.


Did I mention she is amazing?  She has also raised an amazing daughter who I am proud to call friend.  Jen-thanks for sharing your mom with us today and always remember “you aint no pansy….”

I get better at dealing with this crap daily, I know she will win.  Cancer picked the wrong girl to mess with.  What’s that old saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”  Well if that’s the case I can’t imagine a better picture to end this post with then the one below.

Yes, it says…..”Screw cancer.”  Probably not politically correct, but remember we keep it real.

About Michelle

I started my blog as a way to connect with other paper crafters and of course it has gone a totally different direction. I've been able to share my experience as a mother, my hurt and disappointments over not having a relationship with my maternal unit, my walk with God and how knowing Him has changed me and continues to help me grow into the person I strive to be......
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4 Responses to Keeping It Real-Screw Cancer

  1. Blaise says:

    Tissue alert! I was fine until her letter. She’s a strong woman and lucky to have you by her side. I’ll be thinking of her during this battle. My Aunt has beat cancer 4 times and is living a wonderfully full life. I know Ingrid can too. If you need anything, you know where to find me.

  2. I found your page by looking for pictures of pumpkins, and I’m glad I found this post. I was diagnosed in April with Malignant Melanoma. I was incredibly lucky that my boyfriend found my mole early, so all I had to do was get it cut out, and have some lymph nodes removed.

    Thank you so much for being such an incredible friend to Ingrid when she needs it most. And I agree SCREW CANCER!!! (And best of health, etc for Ingrid. I hope that her treatments work for her!)

  3. tiffany says:

    See I told you were an amazing lady – well maybe I didn’t say amazing but what your dear friend Ingrid wrote to you on your birthday is similar to how I feel when I read your posts and I don’t know you in real life!

    praying for your friend and you too!

  4. Jill Lippert says:

    I’m Jennifer’s aunt by marriage and she’s always made a wonderful impression on me. Love her. Then, I met Ingrid and boy what fun she is I could see where she got her charm. Ingrid’s a walking, bubbly, laugh-factory. There will be no room in her body for destructive cancer cells, she’ll force them out pore by pore, laugh by laugh!
    You go INGRID! & I agree, SCREW Cancer and the horse it road in on….Many prayers, Love, Jill (Oh and screw Hair too)

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