Who, What, Where & How

I am really being tried this week.  I’ve had “Kid Issues” for days and I’m tired.  I told a friend yesterday their problems only get bigger, like I would love to have to deal with diaper rash or an ear infection instead of the junk I’m dealing with. 

I am proud of myself though, I haven’t asked who, what, where and how.  I’ve tried really hard to just stay out of what isn’t my business.  I’m not good at that.  I want to “fix” things, I want to see them happy and content.  I don’t want to wonder if they are making the right decisions, I want them to find happiness and live better then I have.  I can’t make that happen and it bothers me.

I worry and I can’t change that.  I wish they had a father that looked out for their best interest, they don’t.  They have someone who looks out for himself and if they can “solve” his problems that’s just a bonus.  Makes me sick.  Since when are kids suppose to “bail out” their father.  Did I mention it makes me sick? 

I wish I was better at communicating with them, I know The First Born is on the verge of hating me…..well that might be a little harsh.  She is frustrated with me and I understand why.  I’m not good at communicating that I only want what is best for her.  She has been sick for weeks and I’m worried to death, I’ve done everything I can and I know that.

I know everything will work out however it’s suppose to, but I hate thinking about the process of getting “there”.  I guess I’ll just find a few good books to read, book a couple of Lia Sophia parties, watch some good reality t.v. and keep myself busy so I don’t drive myself crazy while I try to mind my own business….oh yeah and I’ll finish my family photo wall…..I developed the pictures, bought the frames and now I just need to figure out HOW, WHAT, AND WHERE.

About Michelle

I started my blog as a way to connect with other paper crafters and of course it has gone a totally different direction. I've been able to share my experience as a mother, my hurt and disappointments over not having a relationship with my maternal unit, my walk with God and how knowing Him has changed me and continues to help me grow into the person I strive to be......
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