I am really being tried this week. I’ve had “Kid Issues” for days and I’m tired. I told a friend yesterday their problems only get bigger, like I would love to have to deal with diaper rash or an ear infection instead of the junk I’m dealing with.
I am proud of myself though, I haven’t asked who, what, where and how. I’ve tried really hard to just stay out of what isn’t my business. I’m not good at that. I want to “fix” things, I want to see them happy and content. I don’t want to wonder if they are making the right decisions, I want them to find happiness and live better then I have. I can’t make that happen and it bothers me.
I worry and I can’t change that. I wish they had a father that looked out for their best interest, they don’t. They have someone who looks out for himself and if they can “solve” his problems that’s just a bonus. Makes me sick. Since when are kids suppose to “bail out” their father. Did I mention it makes me sick?
I wish I was better at communicating with them, I know The First Born is on the verge of hating me…..well that might be a little harsh. She is frustrated with me and I understand why. I’m not good at communicating that I only want what is best for her. She has been sick for weeks and I’m worried to death, I’ve done everything I can and I know that.
I know everything will work out however it’s suppose to, but I hate thinking about the process of getting “there”. I guess I’ll just find a few good books to read, book a couple of Lia Sophia parties, watch some good reality t.v. and keep myself busy so I don’t drive myself crazy while I try to mind my own business….oh yeah and I’ll finish my family photo wall…..I developed the pictures, bought the frames and now I just need to figure out HOW, WHAT, AND WHERE.