I recently was sent an email from a friend with a blog attached, the blog author is a friend of hers and is a surrogate right now. The email from my friend said be prepared to cry so I put off reading the blog for a day or so. I finally read it and cry I did. Me being me I decided to ask for prayer for this stranger who I’ve never met, back up I actually asked for prayer for an unborn child. I did this over at MckMama’s message board, remember sweet Stellan. I now regret asking for prayer, that sentence doesn’t even look right does it?
Can I just seriously ask what is wrong with people? I’ve been disappointed by people over and over this weekend. Is the whole world self-centered and hardened?
I am seeing why people VERY close to me question Christianity, I never thought I would understand BUT I do. Don’t get me wrong, I believe and nothing can change that. I went to said blog and message board today and read the following comments…..
“Tell her you will not kill any baby unless she is there with you. SHE can watch them kill a baby. Do you know that a 13 week baby is fully formed-you can see all it’s fingers and toes and it’s gender. No way can you do this-you will just as guilty of murder as her.” OF COURSE the person writing this is anonymous and her screen name is 2 Angles.
“Audra, I am so heartbroken for you, and this situation. I understand you feel obligated to go through with this, but I do not believe you are. Legally, absolutely. Morally, its your call. You do have a choice here. There are consequences, but there will be consequences either way. Which consequences can you live with, when you lay your head on your pillow at night? You ultimately have to be able to live with yourself. In the Bible, in the Book of Exodus, the Egyptian Pharaoh told the Hebrew mid-wives to kill all the male babies of the Hebrews, but the Bible says they refused, because they feared God. Also, Moses lived because his mother feared God and would not allow him to be put to death. If you fear God, and do what is right, then you will do well. If you go against your conscience, regardless of the legalities, it will be a much harder road for you. Praying for you, the IP, and the situation.” Written by Michelle, you can find her blog right here….full of bible verses….I question where is God’s love and mercy?
“I have doubts about the validity of the woman’s blog. I don’t think that the donor parents have the legal right to force medical interventions on the surrogate. Certainly if 2 embryo were inserted, wasn’t the possibility of twins discussed? And if they don’t want twins, they could certainly place one for adoption rather than abort. Another anonymous comment over at MckMama’s.
“I think this is a fake site, just like April Rose.”
I think this is all bullshit and gimmick to get money from you gullible, good hearted people.
She is lying. Sorry.” This sweet comment was left by Mom With A Left Hook, again profile not available.
I have been mad all day over this, I feel responsible for those comments because I’m the one that asked for prayer….now tonight I find it all disgusting. I am going to assume that all of those comments were left by adults and this is what I have to say. Go ahead leave your nasty comments hide behind your computer screen you are a bunch of cowards. For all the “prayer warriors” over at Mck Mama’s you need to practice what the bible says in it’s entireity not what you choose to practice.
Luke 6:37 ESV /
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;
Matthew 7:15 ESV /
“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves.
Proverbs 31:9 ESV /
Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy.
I am going through some things in my personal life and questioning what God wants me to learn, if things don’t turn out like I want them to and have been praying for them to turn out I will still praise God.
The writer of said blog is praying for God to touch the parents of the unborn children and change their hearts, if God doesn’t do that is He to blame for the abortion? Free will people, we all have it.
I recently first hand saw a Godly woman make a mistake that she NEVER thought she would make….she is a Christian and is very open about sharing her faith; she sinned. Don’t we all?
When I went to some of the blogs from the commenters at this woman’s blog I had to wonder, “Who do you think you are?” We all sin, no sin is bigger or worse than another sin. Did I mention disgust?
I’m glad my 10 year old is praying for this situation with an open and loving heart. Adults are so overrated.
Paper Glue Etc. 
Very well said. Like I said on Mck’s site I don’t pray but this young woman has all the positive thoughts and energy I have coming her way as she has to go through this horrible experience.
I will also keep my fingers crossed the the IP’s have a change of heart and see this other little one as just as much of a blessing as the one they are choosing to keep.
I’m a lurker over at BF, I choose not to post because I’ve seen how the convos go over there. Trying to stay out of that!
I just wanted to tell you how sad I am. What you meant for good, other people have twisted and turned into hurtful. I can only imagine how you’re feeling, because of all the comments left over on the surrogate mother’s blog.
Don’t lose faith. God looks on the heart, and right now your heart, as well as the heart of this surrogate seem to be in exactly the right place. I know you feel responsible, that’s how I would feel too. Be encouraged that there are those of us over on BF who are praying for this woman, and for the hearts of the IP to be changed. With God, ALL things are possible.
I’m sorry for what this has turned into, and very disappointed myself. A simple request for prayer should be met with only promises for prayer. I will be praying for you as well, that you’ll have peace throughout all this crap. 🙂
Michelle,
I’m so sorry for the direction the discussion has taken. Too often we as Christians forget that our purpose is to tell people that Jesus loves them and died for them. I pray this surrogate mom knows that Jesus loves her so very much!
I pray that God does something amazing and miraculous so that all who see it proclaim “THIS is what the Lord has done and it’s marvelous in our sight!”
I’ve struggled a lot this year with anger and bitterness. Anger at God and bitterness at what I felt was the failure of “friends”. These are weeds… don’t let them take root in your heart. Your seem to be a very caring woman… and I’m thankful for your heart for this mom.
My first visit and I so enjoyed this blog,you know we Christians are a riot especially when it comes to solving everyone else’s problems! I had to laugh here for some think their sins are small! “Loving” includes Mercy & Grace for all.And how quick we need to “Grab” hold of that in our minds,now on to McKmama’s place I enjoy Blog Hopping.
I could not agree more with this post. As I Christian myself it saddens me to see what others who also claim to be Christian can do to be so cruel. But, just as you said I will not judge them either so I will not be judge myself. I personally am glad that you shared this woman’s story with us.
Frankly, I’m not surprised. Saddened? Yes. Didn’t she call them her wolverines once? I think that is…fitting. Hopefully there is some hope for the situation. You aren’t the first blogger who’s trying to find an answer for this and asking for prayers. Hopefully it’s not a scam.
I just read this entire thing, and I had to say something.
I am newly returning to Christianity and the church. I have always been a person of faith, and I have always remained strong in my belief in God, but I was let down a lot by church and so-called “christian” people in my life. My granddad was a minister, but when my mother came out as a lesbian when I was 8 we were more or less shunned. I wrote a lot about my struggles with church from that point on, and what has brought me back, on my blog here:
http://singleinfertilefemale.blogspot.com/2009/12/are-you-there-god-its-me-sif.html
and then at other posts throughout, so I’ll spare all the details from your comments section!
The point is, I’m still struggling. I know I am a good person, but I don’t know that I can keep up with so many of the communities values. I tend to be a very open hearted person who tries to see value in everyone, and understands that everyone elses struggles are not my own. I know what the bible preaches, but I also know that people have roads to lead which may seem to stray from the teachings of the bible, and it is not my place to judge what the purpose behind that is.
I am still struggling with a fear of judgement from church people. I am facing infertility and have made the decision to pursue motherhood on my own before it is too late. I still have not gained the courage to speak that plan aloud in my church because I am terrified of the judgement I have seen in the past. I am afraid to give these people even a chance because I have been so burned before. That is not the way it should be, and I know that. I am working on letting go of my own reservations.
Still, I see things like this and I just wonder “why”. Bible verses aren’t appropriate to be thrown out in every situation; sometimes all that is required is kindness and compassion. Sometimes just even an open ear. I am having to remind myself daily that the people I have encountered in the past who have soured me on Christianity are the exception and not the rule, but it is hard. I am struggling now with fully embracing my faith because I am afraid of being seen by others the way I used to look at women who proclaimed their faith (the women I was always afraid of, whether they deserved it or not).
This is why when I originally saw your message on MckMamas board I didn’t even open it. I’m not comfortable enough to proclaim I am praying for someone else (even if I may be) because I still associate people saying they were praying for me with the times when their judgement was being passed. I also donated my eggs twice when I was younger, and I stand by that decision with everything I have. I know it was the right thing to do, and I am proud of my decision. Still, I know there are some “Christians” who would look down on that decision for whatever reason. I just didn’t even want to see your post because I had a feeling it would get me upset in some way. I can’t really explain it, because I look at every other message on those boards, but I saw yours and immediatly decided I wanted to keep my hands off of it. Now I’m sorry I did.
That woman has all of my prayers. What a difficult and painful thing for her to have to go through. There is nothing but love and compassion coming from me in Anchorage, AK. I am so sorry for you having to be hurt by people in this way, but please know that not everyone feels they have the right to judge or proclaim what is “right” in the face of a simple prayer request.
Michelle, you have misunderstood me. I wasn’t being judgmental at all, but instead was trying to encourage her that God is big enough to handle this situation in her life, if she will honor Him with it. I have been checking on this story all day, I have told all my friends and family about the horror that this kind-hearted woman is facing.
I read her entire blog, saw that she was very much struggling with this, and I felt that she might need encouragement to stand strong regardless of the consequences, and that’s what my intentions were. You have misunderstood and misrepresented my comment. My intention was to point her to Scripture that shows where God honored decisions that went against “required” actions.
There is a baby’s LIFE on the line here, and I felt that possibly that Audra could be strengthened and encouraged toward saving this baby, despite the difficult consequences if she does.
Please don’t read judgment into my comment. There was none there.
Michelle I hope that you understand my response on BF. I have been called so many things on there because I am not a Christian and I am this that and the other thing…heck I think we have even had our differences on there. I just want you to know that I feel awful for how things have happened with this young woman.
Thank for this message. I often find that so called Christians make weak choices. Attack the innocent and not the guilty. Why? Because it’s easier. Judge everyone with their nose in their while the acridity of their mannerism suffocates those who they look down on. Worst of all tend to be the first to sin and give degrees of how bad or not it is. I braced myself and went to this website to see this woman’s story. I dont even want to thank of the mental anguish that this lady is going through at the thought of having to abort a child that she has sheltered within her. The child is faultless but is being punished just for living. I pray for this woman. I pray that GOD deliver her from this situation and protects the child and it’s twin. True to form as a so called Christian I will cast my own opinion and judgement through my hopes for the child and it’s other half. I hope the surrogate is allowed to keep both children and GOD blesses her with the ability to raise them both very well.
Okay I just looked at the date. I am all late. So embarassed. I just couldnt wait to send my reply. Sorry. 😦