Tonight is one of those nights where I would be better off to close the laptop and not blog. I will look back on this blog post months from now and regret things I say.
This week I was hit with the reality that a lot of times when we pray for someone or something, there is someone else praying for the exact opposite. I guess I’m trying to say that in many situations when prayer is involved there is a winner and a loser. Is that really true? In a tragic mess, where people’s hearts are invovled does anyone win? I have prayed so hard about a situation and it didn’t go the way I wanted it go. I remember praying for God’s will, but I guess deep down I wanted my will. Sound familiar to anyone? I look at this situation and there is so much hurt and I feel helpless. I came home today tried to think of something to do, should I send a card, was praying enough, should I show up on a doorstop, should I text, should I do nothing. I had a good cry, yelled at God and ate a donut.
Somewhere during the crying, yelling and eating I remembered a bible verse that I clung to right after Baby James’ death. Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. I knew then I didn’t need to do anything, I just needed to pray.
Do you ever wonder what people do that don’t have faith when they are broken hearted and crushed? I don’t wonder, I’ve seen it over and over in my own family. I want to praise God today that even though I don’t like what happened this week, I don’t understand it, it’s God’s will and I have to accept it. I guess that’s why some people turn away from God, why some people have a deal breaker with God. Acceptance does not come easy. How do you accept something that seems so stupid? You do it with God’s help. You turn it over to God over and over. You pray about it over and over. You believe with all your heart that God has His hand in the situation and He’s working it out exactly the way it’s suppose to be worked out.
Without going into details let me encourage you to love your kids, don’t just love them make sure they know their loved.
Have a friend that you hurt or disappointed? Fix it. Don’t wait for something horrible to happen, do it now.
My Lord, I know you are gracious–in my mind. Help me to feel it and trust it more and more deeply–in my heart! Amen.