Babel

[edit] Narrative

The story is found in Genesis 11:1-9 (King James Version) as follows:

1 And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech. 2 And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there. 3 And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for mortar. 4 And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth. 5 And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower, which the children built. 6 And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do; and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do. 7 Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech. 8 So the Lord scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city. 9 Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the Lord did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the Lord scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

It’s Friday and that means A Beautiful Life post, I wasn’t suprised today when I saw she was talking about Mother’s Day.  I was thrilled though when I saw the words “Press On” in the same blog post.  I have been doing just that this week.

I understand that relationships are complicated, I even understand that I complicate relationships.  I know that relationships have highs and lows. 

After two years of counseling both individually and jointly, I know that I am a great person.  I have a huge heart.  I have faith in God.  I am a good friend, a good sister, a great mother, a great wife and a wonderful daughter to my father. 

The one relationship that I should have rock solid faith in I have none.  This week I struggled with this fact more then usual, I guess it’s the Hallmark commercials, the florist billboards, the less then smooth references about gifts and celebrations from The Baby Girl.  All of the above has be struggling with you guessed it…….Mother’s Day.

I have been on a rollercoaster ride about how to handle Mother’s Day.  My head said do nothing, then my heart said, “Pray about it.”  I did over and over.  I prayed, God moved me to do nothing, so I prayed some more.  Still nothing.  The commercials, my sweet child, etc. etc. etc. and I convinced myself I should do something.  Notice I convinced myself.  I kept telling myself, “It was the right thing to do.”

So yesterday I went to Berean bought The Spare Mom a thoughtful gift, drove to the post office and mailed it.

I noticed the park across the street from the post office and I decided to go sit and pray some more, remember I wanted Him to give me the answer I wanted.  Pretty simple, it went something like this…”Hey God I know I’ve been praying about how to handle Mother’s Day, BUT you obviously don’t understand because you have given me no answers, so I’ll handle this on  my own.”  Ever had a conversation like that with God?  So I get out sit in the park and start to write.  The paper was cute as  could be, I had a great pen, the park was beautiful, the sun was shining and have I mentioned I love to write.  The first few sentences were I guess what you would expect-

Dear Mom-

I hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day, I wanted you to know I was thinking of you.  I wish things could be different between us, but I guess they are what they are…..

Not bad huh?  I will not share the remainder of that letter or the other two that I tried to write after ripping up the park letter.  I visited not one, not two but three florist trying to find flowers that I could send. 

I had called a friend before starting this craziness and I quote, “You better really pray about this before you do anything.”  I called her back explained my fear, hurt and anger.  That’s when she shared the story of Babel and that’s when I knew God was giving me an answer.  If it was God’s will for me to write a letter and honor my mother on Mother’s Day I would have had the words, they would not have been the angry, hurtful words that came after those first couple sentences above.  I would have felt peace and not the need to smack someone. 

So, I had a good cry.  I put my big girl panties on and decided to enjoy Mother’s Day for myself and to make it special for two other women who really deserve my love and thoughtfulness.

I bought a friend a card and decided to give her a coffee mug I had bought a long time ago, you see she would give anything to celebrate Mother’s Day with her son.  She can’t, he’s in heaven.  I honored her and she called me today and thanked me.  Not complicated at all.

I will take flowers to another woman on Sunday.  She has no biological children, but is a role model to many.  She is a Christian woman who always has a smile on her face.  I will honor her, she will be touched.  Not complicated at all.

I will make sure to text my dear friend Gina who will be celebrating her first Mother’s Day without her mom and invite her over for a glass of wine.

I will not write a letter to my mother, I will not send a card, I will not have flowers delivered, I will not call her.  I will pray for her.