Myself!

photo206281

I am almost speechless.  The above is Lena’s arm.  I had asked her to do the post today, I told her since she loves herself so much she should do this post.  She showed me didn’t she?

J.W.C. is James’ initials, and to think they are on Lena’s arm has made me cry for an hour.  I don’t even know if I can put my feelings into words. 

I always wonder if he’ll be forgotten someday, especially once I leave this earth.  Will he be a part of our family when I’m not reminding everyone about him, and now I know he will.

His big sister will not only remember him, but she honored him by doing something that meant something to her. 

I complain about the tattoos all the time, but today I called her and all I could do was cry.

works-for-me-wednesday

After pondering this turn of events I decided it would be a great post to link to “Works For Me Wednesday”. 

When The First Born first decided to fall in love with tattoos I thought it was the end of the world.  I’m a little too uptight at times, just ask The First Born (Lena) or Mr. Perfect (Shane).  After awhile I grew to accept tattoos were just a part of The First Born and I needed to accept them. 

Today I finally get it, you see I didn’t see ink on The First Born’s arm, I didn’t see a tattoo.  I saw Baby James’ initials.  The tattoo meant something to me so I got past it being a tattoo.  I finally get that is how The First Born feels about all of her tattoos.  So, the tattoos finally “work for me”. 

Lena Nicole, I love you from the bottom of my heart and I hope you never know how much those initials mean to me.  I hope you never know the heartbreak I’ve lived with for the last four years, but if you do I hope you have a child as special as yourself to make it all bearable.

Advertisements

About Michelle

I started my blog as a way to connect with other paper crafters and of course it has gone a totally different direction. I've been able to share my experience as a mother, my hurt and disappointments over not having a relationship with my maternal unit, my walk with God and how knowing Him has changed me and continues to help me grow into the person I strive to be......
This entry was posted in family, grief, infant loss, life and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Myself!

  1. Lori says:

    Girl, your kids are priceless…

  2. jhoop says:

    OMG!!! Just when we have all but given up on them……..You know I always knew she wouldn’t be a “thug” forever.

  3. Karen says:

    I can relate!
    When I lost Tabitha, I got my wrist tattoo. I didn’t want anything stark just a reminder (not that I need one) but everyday, I’m reminded when I see the heart on my wrist that my baby girl is watching down on me.

  4. Tess says:

    Hey Michelle,
    I hope you are muddling through this week. I was thinking about you the other day. I am so glad you sent me this email. God Love Lena 🙂 I think it is pretty cool what she did. We all express ourselves in different ways and as long as your heart is in it, it can definetly be a beautiful thing. KUDOS LENA

  5. Queen Mother says:

    I felt the same way. I thought after we were gone would anyone remember Jeff. Would anyone remember what kind of impact he had on so many lives. Years later I was at Spring Grove Cemetery and stoped at a little girl that died a hundrend years ago and stood there and cried. I knew then that he would be remembered. Both my children visit his grave. So it will be fine.

  6. Queen Mother says:

    Tell Lena that her real grandma loves tattoos.

  7. Michelle says:

    Sitting in doc office scared waiting on procedure and checked this. Thx girls.

  8. amber says:

    Smiling a great big smile. Lena rocks!

  9. annette says:

    Well when you least expect it they do something remarkable. Tell Lena it’s bueatiful and what a honor she has done to remember her brother.
    God bess.

  10. Pingback: Hello « Paper Glue Etc.

  11. Katie says:

    How special. Lena seems like a wonderful sister.

  12. Pingback: Best of 2009 « Paper Glue Etc.

  13. Charli says:

    It’s hard when our kids don’t emulate us when they are growing into individuals. I wonder if you read the history of tattoos if you might have had a different view of them. I’ve never gotten a tattoo although I’m fascinated by the designs. I’m glad you finally understand her tattoos and wish you and yours much happiness. And I think it’s great that she remembers him in this manner because you know people will ask and his memory will be kept alive.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s