Just Plain Sad Edited With Some Good News

I am feeilng just plain sad.  News I got yesterday about my dear friend Gina’s mom passing away has really made me just plain sad.  I had just met Gina for coffee at Starbucks on Monday and of course we had talked about her parents and then yesterday I missed a call from Gina and when I called her back she was crying.  It was the kind of cry when you just know someone’s heart is broke.  We talked for awhile and I offered my help.  I called today and checked on her and she was with her dad. 

I have had a lot of thoughts of course about my screwed up relationship with my own mom, but listening to Joyce Meyer I was reminded I don’t have a relationship with my mom because I’m not strong enough to handle her with grace.  I don’t expect her to change, she isn’t going to, I’m not even sure she realizes how much she sucks in the mom department.  The bottom line is I can’t handle her with grace and I can’t allow her to hurt Alyssa so I don’t have a relationship with her.  I don’t wish anything bad to happen to her, I don’t have anger towards her just down right sadness that our relationship is where it is.  I continue to pray about it and God’s answer continues to be, “DO NOTHING.” 

Mrs. Zaffiro was such a part of my life growing up and of course it’s made me feel old.  She was the kind of mom I always wanted.  The Zaffiro house was the kind of family I always wanted, mom and dad still married, not perfect but typical.  I always think about Mrs. Zaffiro when I buy a white blouse, Mrs. Zaffiro had a lot of white blouses.  She loved her children and was a good mom, loved her husband and would have celebrated 50 years of marriage in May, what more do any of us want people to say about us when we are gone from this earth.  I laughed yesterday when I was praying for the entire Zaffiro family because I couldn’t remember Mrs. Zaffiro’s first name, she was just always Mrs. Zaffiro (I think if was Barb).  We share the same birthday and I will sure be thinking about her on our birthday.

I decided to come back and spread some sunshine!  Amber Hitsman is engaged, this makes me smile!  Amber and Lena grew up together and Amber’s mom is one of my closest friends.  This is exciting!!

I found a free scrapbook class today that sounds really fun.  The class description reminded me that I want to tell “my story”, not just scrapbook the big days.  Check it out.

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About Michelle

I started my blog as a way to connect with other paper crafters and of course it has gone a totally different direction. I've been able to share my experience as a mother, my hurt and disappointments over not having a relationship with my maternal unit, my walk with God and how knowing Him has changed me and continues to help me grow into the person I strive to be......
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