Ok, today is Sunday and boy am I glad to see this week behind me. This time last week I was at Archiver’s with The Hoopers loving life (what other choice do you have when in the company of Jill and Dori, don’t tell anyone but I yelled thru Archiver’s that I almost peed in my pants when Jill surprised me with Dori…ha). Fast forward to Monday, work was long and trying, Deb still off me still crazy. Move onto Tuesday, dumb (yes I know that isn’t nice) guy from Fun Services drops the bomb that he can’t handle the carnival, well nice to know. Brings us to Wednesday, working with people with little to no pride in what they do has finally reached a boiling point with me, either work or go somewhere else and bother someone else. We are at Thursday and that’s where the fun really starts, starting with a headache while I was getting ready for work, heartburn started by 9:30, meeting at 9:30 more of the same, leave meeting crying, headache is worse, by noon chest pain, finish the day, still doing my job and Deb’s job, stressed to the max, come home with enough time to beep the horn for Lyss to get her to the YMCA by 6 p.m., decide not to walk on the treadmill because I felt worse, come home sit down on the couch and “Houston we have a problem.” I can’t breath, their is a heavy weight on my chest. After about 30 minutues decide a trip to the E.R. is not avoidable. Ended up with blood pressure of 152/97, an abnormal EKG and an admission to the Cardiac Care Unit at Mercy Fairfield. My stress test the next day produced blood press of 253 oops. I am home on limited activity with rest periods and suppose to be avoiding stress. Yeah sure.
The trip to the E.R. has done a few things, got me a lecture from my Daddy, the same man who just tried to convince me to do acupuncture for weight loss. A worried husband. A clearer picture of who I can and can’t count on. A scare that I can’t explain. I was laying in the E.R. thinking what would happen to Alyssa and that’s when it hit me. I owe Alyssa better then this. I have to lose this weight, start worrying about me instead of worrying about everyone else. I have to get a little more selfish and quit letting people make me feel guilty. I have given too much to some and not enough to others, but right now I can only think of myself. My health, physically and mentally.
We are headed to church to hear Gary sing, can’t think of anything that could help me more mentally. I will be at Weight Watchers tomorrow. I have to make an appointment with my doctor for tomorrow and I have to get in the gym and work on my fitness once I get the green light that it is safe.