The C Word

It’s 11:43 a.m. and my world has been turned upside down, I admit I want to climb under the covers and hide.  I was able to get Lyssa an appointment this morning, so I’ve had less then three hours to process the word Melanoma.  I’ve been on a roller coaster ride, I will know tomorrow the exact time of our appointment at Children’s Hospital next Friday.  I don’t need to tell any of you that when your doctor pulls strings to get you an appointment with an office that had a six month waiting list, you have reason to be worried.  I’m scared and I’m angry.  I should be thankful because I only have to wait nine days, but nine days right now seems like a life time.  I knew our doctor was concerned today, I could see it on her face and she didn’t make eye contact with me until she had Lyssa leave the room.  She tried to reassure me, after all melanoma is rare in children.  I shared the news with Aunt Jeanette (surprise that was my first call ha), Carl, Sherri, Tammy, Betsy, Robyn and Melissa and each time I said the words I kept thinking, “This can’t be happening to us.”  Have I mentioned latey that I love Melissa, she offered to go to her appointment with me and I may take her up on that down the road, but right now I’m believing I won’t need my best friend next Friday because this is all going to be some stupid misunderstanding and a dermatolisist will look at it next Friday and say, “Nothing to worry about.”  Alyssa got in the car today and said, “Mom I’ve already prayed and told God I don’t want to have to have surgery to remove it.”  Boy to have that innocence, she prayed so in her mind it’s a done deal.  The pediatrician said not to tell her anything until we have a positive diagnosis of whatever it is.  Please pray for our family, I haven’t told Lena or Shane yet.  I have to get some family history and am going to ask Shane to get me that information, pray about that..ha!  I have decided WebMD is EVIL….why did I get on WebMd, why did I think that would be a good idea?  I have to see my blessings from today, Lyssa’s pediatrician was wonderful and aggressive in trying to get someone to see us quickly, Carol at Children’s Hospital was kind and informative, thru nothing but prayer I was able to maintain control in front of Lyssa and she has no idea that anything is wrong, she thinks the sore is ugly and will have to be removed but that’s all she knows.  She is at daycare so I can have my melt down and have a smile on my face when she gets home.


About Michelle

I started my blog as a way to connect with other paper crafters and of course it has gone a totally different direction. I've been able to share my experience as a mother, my hurt and disappointments over not having a relationship with my maternal unit, my walk with God and how knowing Him has changed me and continues to help me grow into the person I strive to be......
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4 Responses to The C Word

  1. kristy says:

    My goodness. I am praying for you today. You found me through Angie’s blog awhile back and I have bloglisted you on mine so I can keep up with your goings on.
    I will pray with the belief that Alyssa is so secure in, that this will be a done deal pretty quickly.

  2. Sara says:

    I am absolutely praying for Lyssa. I am sure that you are worried sick. Be strong with your faith in God, and know that your daughter’s belief and faith in God will get her through this. She sounds like a very brave child. I feel sure that this will be okay.

  3. Tippa Glover says:

    Prayers, prayers and more prayers.

  4. You all are in my prayers….lots going out.

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