Worry

My plan was to come home tonight and hang out with Lena and Lyssa.  Didn’t happen.  Lena has been in bed since she got home from work and Lyssa after sharing daycare adventures watched T.V. in the green room by herself.  While I was sitting in the living room with Carl here came Lyssa with a new “problem”.  She tends to be quite the Drama Queen and often complains of belly aches and head aches.  I’ve told her the story of the little boy who cried wolf, again she rolls her eyes and says, “Whatever Mom.”  Tonight was different, there is an ugly black growth on her upper thigh.  I won’t even type what I found on WebMD.  I won’t share the pictures I then googled and the down right fear I have right now that something is wrong with my girl.  I have called the doc and know they open at 8 a.m. I will be calling and insisting on an appointment.  I have spent a lot of time tonight praying to God and trying to find peace, but I admit I’m scared.  I tried to get Lyssa to say it was a bug bite, an old sore of some kind, but the kid wouldn’t accomodate me.  She says, “I think it’s been there for a year.”  (not true)  I almost had myself convinced that I was overacting until Carl looked at it and said, “Honey you need to call the doctor tomorrow.”  I am sitting in her room because she couldn’t fall asleep so I came in to hang out with her until she went to sleep and I sit here looking at this child that has changed my life in ways I never dreamed.  I got it right with Lyssa and I love it!  I wasn’t a young selfish immature mom, I didn’t put my own needs before hers ever, I appreciate every experience that I have with her, being her mom has been the most rewarding thing in my life…I have no regrets with this kid.  We are buds.  She had me cracking up tonight, she told her sister she doesn’t come to her house and eat her food and drink all her milk so why does she come here and do that, I can’t tell you how much Lyssa enjoys being an only child these days.  If you stop by my blog tonight please say a prayer that Lyssa doesn’t remember a bug bite and that I’m being a crazy mom, pray that I will get an appointment in the morning and get the answers I need for my peace of mind.  Pray that Lyssa, who has had so many disappointments and hurts from selfish adults will sleep well tonight and handle the doc appointment tomorrow better then her mother thinks she will.  Pray that this mom gets a little sleep.

Advertisements

About Michelle

I started my blog as a way to connect with other paper crafters and of course it has gone a totally different direction. I've been able to share my experience as a mother, my hurt and disappointments over not having a relationship with my maternal unit, my walk with God and how knowing Him has changed me and continues to help me grow into the person I strive to be......
This entry was posted in faith, family, random thoughts and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s