It’s My Life and I’m Living It

I’ve had four days off and I have enjoyed every minute of it.  I can’t say I did anything exciting but it was four days and I enjoyed them.  Had Lena at home for a couple of days, I really enjoy that girl.  She will be back this week for a couple of days.  Invited Shane to spend an afternoon with me, didn’t happen.

I read a great book, Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult.  For those of you who know me this will come as no surprise, I started the book on Saturday and I finished the book on Saturday 418 wonderful pages.  Nine out of ten times I start and finish a book the same day.  I have read Gone With The Wind six times, always start and finish in one weekend.  I love to read, the majority of the books I read are Christian Fiction (something my spare Mom and Aunt Jeanette introduced me to).  I love Karen Kingsbury and have read all of her books, she writes series and I love series.  One of her books hit me right between the eyes, Summer.  Below is part of an entry from her online journal.

   My novel Summer touched a very sensitive and tender nerve with many of you. By now many of you have read it, but still I will talk about it here in a way that doesn’t give enough details to ruin the story. One of the storylines in Summer is the diagnosis and eventual death of a baby due to anencephaly – a neural tube defect that is always fatal. Babies that live to their delivery date will only have a few days before going home to heaven. When I wrote Summer, I feared it might be too depressing – but God showed me a way to make that story full of hope and miracles – the kind we don’t always look for. In the process, God is using that book to touch the hearts of countless women and families who have lost babies – whether through miscarriage or a birth defect or an accident.

    The overriding message in Summer is that life is precious and valuable – that any amount of life is God-given. Life is God’s to give and His to take, and we, His creation, are not to set varying degrees of value on life merely because the number of a person’s days are shorter than we’d planned.

 I didn’t finish Summer, I couldn’t.  I have read it and I loved it, but not that first weekend when I brought it home from Books A Million with a bag of jelly bellies and a green tea from Starbucks.  I had a night to myself and went to buy this book without ever reading the back.  I started that book and within a couple of chapters couldn’t breath.  I put it away and read it a few chapters at a time, you see that’s all my head and heart could handle.

Today’s sermon was about forgiveness and I have to say it’s the first sermon on this subject where I wasn’t convicted.  What a wonderful feeling.  I sit in church today and instead of feeling shame and anger I was proud and thankful.  I can not think of a single person I hold a grudge against.  Now don’t anyone reading this blog for one minute think that’s because life has handed me a bed of roses, quite the contrary.  I have had more hurts, rejections and disappointments then I care to think about, but because I serve a loving God I have learned to forgive. 

We were given the most awesome gift today, I can’t put into words what it is or what it means to me.  Our friend Gary did a drawing of one of my favorite pictures of Baby James’ hand and Carl’s hand and when I can put words together I will post a picture, it is beautiful.  I will tell you it is the only possession that I have that I actually thought today of who I would want to have it if I died tomorrow.  Truly a blessing, but that’s Gary!


About Michelle

I started my blog as a way to connect with other paper crafters and of course it has gone a totally different direction. I've been able to share my experience as a mother, my hurt and disappointments over not having a relationship with my maternal unit, my walk with God and how knowing Him has changed me and continues to help me grow into the person I strive to be......
This entry was posted in faith, family, friends, infant loss, random thoughts, religion, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to It’s My Life and I’m Living It

  1. Sara says:

    That is so neat to hear you say you hold no grudges. I am truly trying to get there, but I think sometimes I fail in this area.
    I cannot wait to see the drawing – it sounds so special. What a blessing to have a friend like Gary.


  2. Girl, I knew there was a reason that you and I get along! Gone with the Wind is an amazing book!! I think I’ve read it as much as you!
    Can’t wait to see the drawing. That picture is a wonderful one as it is.
    Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do. But when you finally do forgive, what a thing it is. You have taught me that!

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