Calgon Take Me Away

Is it Friday yet?  Work is kicking my butt and how do I deal with stress I eat.  Not good. 

Our dog is out of control.  She snapped at the cutest kid in the world last month (my nephew Tyler) and then did the same to Alyssa last night.  We are considering putting her to sleep, but will make a trip to the vet and visit a shelter (no kill) before we make the decision.

I haven’t had a diet or non diet soft drink since Thursday.  Not really missing them as much as I thought I would.  Drinking tons of water, not bottled water though because I bought a Brita pitcher.

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”

–Washington Irving

Experienced a huge disappointment today, let me just say motherhood is not for wimps!  I find myself just watching Alyssa at times and wondering how this sweet child will turn into a nasty teenager in a few years.  I truly believe that you can teach someone right from wrong and then you have to sit back and without guilt watch them fall on their face.  I “fix” things, but today I have admitted defeat and have turned a situation over to God and hopefully will leave it with God and not take it back in a day or so.  I finally understand how you can love someone too much, how you can not see faults that you should see-I also know without a doubt that although I never experienced unconditional love from my own mother I love my kids unconditionally.  I may not always like them, but I love them unconditionally.

I thought this week about password protecting my blog because I still have the Oklahoma Stalker visiting almost daily, but a few of you reminded me that’s not my problem.  If I offend, oh well.  I am amazed at the decisions made by men in regards to their children.  I wonder if they just don’t “get it”, are stubborn, or are they so worried about their own egos and agendas that they can’t “man up” and be the adult in their children’s lives.  How do you justify stupidity?  How does a 40+ year old man leave teenagers to take care of themselves and believe any good will come out of it?  How does he do this once with disasterous outcome and then turn around and do it again?  He does it because he isn’t really worried about his kids, he isn’t concerned about their future, about their hearts-he worries about what others think, he worries about outward appearances (Lena’s tattoo has made her “white trash”), but he isn’t worried about teaching them right from wrong especially where I am concerned, as long as they look the part and can put a “show on” for the latest girlfriend or who ever is putting up with him at the moment he could care less about teaching them how to be productive, loving human beings.  I hate that I see his influence on one of my children more and more, the negativity, the judging, the chip on his shoulder-sad that’s what it makes me.  Not surprised just sad, afterall I have seen this in another child just a few years ago and now that girl is doing EXCELLENT-tattoo and all.

UPDATE:  our church sermon this week was about “When Jesus Stops By” well it’s funny when and how he chooses to “stop by” after I finished by blog post I searched randomly for a blog and I found this blog


About Michelle

I started my blog as a way to connect with other paper crafters and of course it has gone a totally different direction. I've been able to share my experience as a mother, my hurt and disappointments over not having a relationship with my maternal unit, my walk with God and how knowing Him has changed me and continues to help me grow into the person I strive to be......
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1 Response to Calgon Take Me Away

  1. my2apps says:

    So sorry things seem to be hard for you right now! Just keep the faith and give it all to Him!!!
    Christi (from SNR)

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