Feeling Like Mrs. Claus

I love Christmas, I love decorating, I love shopping, I love wrapping presents, and I love the look of happiness on Christmas morning BUT my favorite thing is a pretty table.  The kids think I’m crazy and Mr. Wonderful agrees.

I bought a flocked tree this year and my son is not impressed, but I love!

My table is going to be so pretty, Mr. Wonderful found me wood while we were “home” for Thanksgiving so it makes my table even more special.

Isn’t the wood, gorgeous?

I changed the china cabinet this week and am pretty sure when Christmas is over I will keep it with all white dishes.

I love just the little touches of red.

Hope you are having fun getting ready for Santa!  The kids and Mr. Wonderful think I’m crazy but I sure am having fun.  I am still not finished, well maybe I am I have more that I could do but I’m enjoying the simplicity of what I have accomplished, we’ll see.

Going to link to some blog parties so I can see what some other “Crazy Ladies” have come up with.

100 Random Facts About Me

1. I’m left handed.
2. I love my job.
3. Scrapbooking and cardmaking is a obsession hobby for me.
4. I’m married to my best friend.
5. I’m a mother to 4.
6. I paid my first car off when I was 40.
7. I love the sun.
8. I’m a Christian.
9. I think everyone could benefit from counseling.
10. I have no artistic ability, can’t draw a stick person.
11. I would wear the color green everyday if there was enough of it in my closet.
12. I watch ABC soaps.
13. I spend way too much time on the computer.
14. My car doesn’t have a CD player.
15. I love sweet tea.
16. My grandmother was my favorite person in the world.
17. I rarely dream.
18. I am terrified of flying.
19. I love spaghetti.
20. My favorite comfort food is peanut butter.
21. I’m afraid of dogs.
22. I love Fox News.
23. I do not have any tattoos.
24. I knit, not very well and way too slow to accomplish anything.
25. I have set a goal to make a quilt in 2010.
26. I often forget what day I was married on, it was 12/27.
27. I don’t like to dance.
28. I think the white zin at P.F. Changs is the best white zin in the world.
29. Peanut butter is one of my favorite comfort foods.
30. I wear bi-focals.
31. I color my hair.
32. I wish we could move away from Cincinnati.
33. I recently came to terms that it’s ok to be angry.
34. My MIL gives a whole new meaning to Monster In Law.
35. I have the best Spare Mother in the universe.
36. I love crafts.
37. I think people who cheat are cowards and the people they cheat with are idiots.
38. I’m at a good place in life.
39. I love quotes.
40. Going to church with my husband is one of my favorite things to do.
41. I haven’t read Twilight.
42. I read The Shack, didn’t finish it, didn’t like it.
43. I love Face Book.
44. I’d rather eat a glazed donut then icecream.
45. I pray a lot, especially over things/people I use to try to control.
46. I listen to talk radio in the car.
47. My gym shoes are 10 years old.
48. I’ve never shot a gun.
49. My dad taught me how to drive on my grandmother’s road, I wasn’t old enough to drive.
50. I am tone deaf.
51. I love fall.
52. I still dress up for Halloween.
53. My favorite piece of furnite is my green hutch.
54. I hate my teeth.
55. I’m comfortable with my weight.
56. I don’t decorate for Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
57. My favorite movie is Grease.
58. I really care less what people think about me.
59. I am comfortable with what I see when I look in the mirror.
60. I have no relationship with my mother, and I’m ok with that.
61. I regret getting a dog.
62. My car is messy.
63. I love to garden, especially with my hubby.
64. I’ve been married three times.

It’s That Time Of The Year

Well the pool cover is going on tomorrow so now we have to find something to do with our time.  It looks like the first thing we are going to do is spruce up our living room.  I’m excited, Mr. Wonderful well not so much.

I am pretty sure I have decided on the colors I am going to use.  I have found the base for room, please take a peek and tell me what you think.

I like the thought of teal and green together.

We have decided on leather furniture, brown is the color.  I like the set I found yesterday, but we were leaning towards a sectional so we’ll see.

I’m not sure what Mr. Wonderful is dreading most, but for whatever reason he isn’t excited about taking down the vertical blinds that I hate and replacing them with some other type of window cover.

I can’t wait to work on hanging fun stuff.

I think I might go with something a little more organized like this.

I have looked at lamps and pillows until I feel a little crazy.

I always thought I would have red in my living room because of the green hutch but I am really leaning towards teal and green.

I’m excited to get a new look now if I could just make some decisions.

 

Hurt

Today was a tough day.  I find myself sleeping way too much and it reminds me of another time in life.  A time that was dark and ugly.  I refuse to go back there, life is too good to not fight to enjoy it.  I owe The Baby Girl a fight and I’m going to keep putting one foot in front of the other regardless of how sad I feel.

The Baby Girl and I had a session with her therapist today, and I continue to be amazed at how “OK” she is.  There she sit in the office, her dressed up and carrying her DB purse.  She answered the questions but seem distracted.  Oh that’s right she has two friends waiting in the lobby.  I was pretty happy to know that with all the crap going on she was just being a typical teenager, actually made me smile.

I said it out loud today, my poor choices give us consequences I wish I could change.  I picked a loser to reproduce with and my sweet girl pays the price.  My sweet girl sits in counseling weekly and tries to process how for over half of her 12 years she hasn’t had a father.  She has written him a letter and I guess tomorrow we will mail it.  I’m not sure how I feel about the letter or the fact that she continues to give the POS chance after chance.  I don’t bad mouth him, I never mention him unless she does, I don’t encourage or discourage her.  I love her and all I want is for her to understand, but how can she understand when I can’t begin to understand.

She is a great kid and The Sperm Donor has caused her so much pain, and I don’t think he will ever do anything but cause her pain.  We told her in counseling today how close he lives to us.  We talked about boundaries and what she should do if she runs into him by herself.  I continue to think about moving and am pretty sure that’s the only way I’m going to be comfortable.

I know as sure as I’m sitting on the couch at 5 a.m. unable to sleep that The Baby Girl was a gift to me.  She has been the biggest blessing to me and I try to imagine what my life would be like without her here talking 24-7.  I can’t imagine.  I know that Mr. Wonderful was meant to be her dad and he is.  The Sperm Donor may share her DNA but that’s where his title begins and ends, he hasn’t been a parent from the beginning.

I hope The Baby Girl continues to process all of this and that she continues to know she is amazing.

Casey Anthony Is Free Get Over It

Ok, so for three years I was convinced Casey Anthony would never see the light of day, smell fresh air that wasn’t fenced in with a 6 foot fence wrapped in barb wire, or enter another hot body contest…..well I was mistaken.  I for sure never imagined her prancing out of jail in her Ralph Lauren t-shirt with her smarmy attorney at midnight….but that is reality.  The good guys didn’t win.  Justice was not served for that sweet little girl.  Lady Justice messed up, we have a mother who got away with at the least dumping her child’s dead body.  Even if it was an accident who dumps or allows someone to dump their child and then goes out and parties?

Mr. Mason well don’t get me started.  Goes to show you that intelligence doesn’t give you class.  You all but spit on a little 3 year old child’s grave and then you go out and celebrate while flipping people off, now that is class.

I have written in the past about Cindy Anthony and how I understand her loving her daughter and even respect it, but come on lady.  Do you remember that a sweet little girl is dead?  The Tooth Fairy didn’t kill her, HELLO.

My heart goes out to George, I hope he finds a way to escape.  I wish someone would charter a plane for him and let him go off to a hidden hideaway.  He deserves it.  I have come to think that the entire Anthony Family was aware of what her defense would be and that they did nothing to stop her.  I won’t judge what I would do because I am honest enough to know that until faced with that I have no idea and neither does anyone else regardless of what they say.  I hope Mallory thinks long and hard before becoming Mrs. Lee Anthony….talk about the mother-in-law from hell.  Cindy gives a new meaning to Monster-In-Law.

I won’t lie and say I understand this or like it.  I will say I am beginning to think justice may be served just not as quickly or as swiftly as we would all like to see.  Can you imagine anyone who would want to change places with Casey, Cindy, George or Lee?  Talk about a hot mess.  I wonder if they’ll draw names for Christmas?

She Is With Me (US)

Where do I start?  My dear friend is gone, there is no denying it.  I still think about calling her, I still need to call her.  I can think of at least a dozen times I’ve thought about what Ingrid would think or say about this or that.  At those times I usually just cry.  She was my sounding board, my biggest cheerleader, my friend, and really just a part of me.  She “got it”, the good, the bad it didn’t matter she wanted people to appreciate who they were and how they got there.  She was one of a kind!

Ingrid was the first person I ever talked about death with, well the first person I ever talked about death with who was dying.  She called me in December and told me she was dying and she knew it.  It was a Monday and I was sitting on the couch and I remember hanging up the phone and just laying down and sobbing.  I guess I knew since December in my brain but my heart just never got there.  We talked about her death a lot for the last week, peaceful is just not a big enough word for how she felt.  She told me a few days before she died, “I’m the happiest woman in the world.”  She was.  I remember laying my head beside her in her bed that weekend and telling her my heart hurt and her telling me it would be ok.  She acted like I was crazy until I told her if the roles were reversed she would be sad, she said…”Oh yeah, Baby Girl I would hate to see you in this bed instead of my old ass.”  She gave us all strength, there was times when I wondered if she put on her big girl panties just to protect us all.  She was amazing.

I never would promise her to stay out of the tanning bed, she tried.  I told her I would be careful.  So Friday when I pulled into the parking lot at the tanning bed I felt a little guilt, but I reminded myself I didn’t promise her.  I got inside and when I was signing in I realized I didn’t have my keys.  I knew before I even made it to the car I had locked my keys in my car….well I actually looked up at heaven and said, “Ok Ingrid I know you are pissed, but my keys really?”  I went in and spent 6 minutes in the tanning bed, I said I’d be careful.

I came home and watched a DVR of Oprah and it was so “Ingrid”.  It was all about people being who they were meant to be and having dreams and making them come true…yeap that was Ingrid.  I couldn’t decide if I was sad or happy.  I miss her like crazy, but I wouldn’t trade my friendship and all the good times we had even for all the pain and sadness I feel now.

I headed out to the backyard with a good book still smiling thinking about her and when I opened the backdoor something caught my eye…two beautiful black butterflies.  One flew away when I got in the yard and the other just kinda hung around.

I sit outside and just looked up at the heavens like she told me and thought about her.  I had a great afternoon.

Mr. Wonderful came home from work and commented about all the bird shit in the backyard and I just started laughing, she told T.B. she would feel her presence in birds and T.B. recently had a cardinal build a nest in a fake tree on her patio and now my backyard is being invaded by birds.  No doubt she is still with me…us!  I miss you Ms. Ingrid Fabian!

My Kids

I had the best day today!  It was simple BUT so much fun.  Actually the entire weekend was fun.  I sometimes feel like these kids are growing up so fast and they have forgotten about “Good ole’ Mom or Ma if you are Shane” and then they do something I know they really care less about and they do it just for me.  Like color and hunt Easter eggs…..

The quotes from this weekend are classic.  “I’m sure my basket is the best”, says the 21 year old son, “Why do you say that”, is asked by the 12 year old….his reply, “Because I’m her favorite.”    Did I mention this conversation took place between an adult and a child?

The baskets were all EQUAL.  No one had a better basket.  I swear.

They do not come any cuter!  This girl was an hour late for dinner, I couldn’t even be mad….not when she sent me the cutest text ever.

I love when Lena says, “Take another picture of me.”  The above picture of Shane reminds me of when Lena use to dress him up like a girl and pretend he was her sister.  L.O.V.E.!

I was reminded today that my grown kids have class.  I was reminded that even though I have been far from perfect I obviously did something right.  They amaze me.

I am one very lucky mother!