Is There One In Every Neighborhood

Last night after I was tucked into bed here came the sirens.  Seems the neighbors across the street were at it again.  I have had to explain more things to Alyssa because of these folks and their squabbles.  We are not talking about young people, we are talking about a mother and her children (and I fear the mother is a teacher at our local highschool).  Don’t adults realize or care that young people (Alyssa is nine afterall) are watching their behavior?  Why would you fight, scream and cuss with the windows open, why would you walk up and down the street on your cell phone using profanity at the top of your lungs?  Think about your neighbors, think about the role model you should be to the young people in your neighborhood. 

I spent the morning with some awesome people at work today.  A group of folks that have passion for what we do and the clients we provide services for and I am refreshed and loving what I do.  When I tell folks I help seniors make decisions about Long Term Care, I always get a funny look.  I don’t think anyone realizes what a tough decision it is until it is their family member or loved one.  I am so proud that I work with people “who get it”. 

I am feeling VERY VERY BLESSED!

Pray With Me

Please join me in a prayer for Greg and Nicole, I have been praying for them and Summer since Baby Luke’s death.  Angie posted today that she would love for us to pray Psalm 84 for them and I would like to add..

Heavenly Fater you know the hurts of this mommy and daddy, please touch them.  I pray tonight that you will give them images of the most beautiful angel picking Baby Luke up out of his bed and carrying him cradled in warm arms to heaven.  Take away the what ifs God and replace those thoughts with what we all know as Christians, Baby Luke is with You, he has no hurts, will never know disappointments or rejection.  When doubt enters into Greg and Nicole’s heads remind them nothing they did could change this, it was Your will and Baby Luke was just on loan here on earth.  God you know this baby’s death made me so angry and I thank you for reaching my heart and loving me through that anger. 

 Psalm 84

Psalm 84

1 How lovely is your dwelling place,

O Lord Almighty!

2 My soul yearns, even faints,

for the courts of the Lord;

my heart and my flesh cry out

for the living God.

 

3 Even the sparrow has found a home,

and the swallow a nest for herself,

where she may have her young—

a place near your altar,

O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.

4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;

they are ever praising you.

Selah 

5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,

who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca,

they make it a place of springs;

the autumn rains also cover it with pools.

7 They go from strength to strength,

till each appears before God in Zion.

 

8 Hear my prayer, O Lord God Almighty;

listen to me, O God of Jacob.

Selah

9 Look upon our shield,  O God;

look with favor on your anointed one.

                  

10 Better is one day in your courts

than a thousand elsewhere;

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God

than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

the Lord bestows favor and honor;

no good thing does he withhold

from those whose walk is blameless.

 

12 O Lord Almighty,

blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Wishy Washy Christians Read At Your Own Risk

I wasn’t going to blog today, I was just going to work on my new page trying to list all the ladies from Angie’s Blog that I am getting to know.  I have since discovered that this task will take a long time because I read way too much at each of their blogs..ha! 

Reading these ladies’ blogs and spending time with three of my favorite people this weekend made me ponder.  I sit outside today and talked to Lori about hurt, rejection, faith and life in general and I realized I’ve overcome a lot of junk, I’ve grown as a person and as a Christian.  I’ve learned the following..

• I do not need anyone to validate me as a person, wife, friend or mother.  I am a work in progress and if I don’t add up to what someone else thinks I should be I hope they are praying for me.  
• People who judge me, make me laugh.  Today someone was sharing a story about my MIL and how much she dislikes her stepson, imagine that from the woman who has caused nothing but turmoil between my step kids and myself.  Would it surprise any of you that this woman who couldn’t wait to tell me she was “relieved” when Baby James died, calls herself a Christian?  I pray for her daily, I don’t know if she is or isn’t a Christian I just thank God daily that He has touched me and made me think before I speak some craziness like I would like to speak to her.
• People who cheat-are cowards.  I know people (actually love a couple, they read my blog and hopefully will still love me after this statement) who have cheated, ok don’t judge me but I have been a part in a relationship where someone was being cheated on.  (NOT PROUD OF THIS)   I still don’t understand it.  I have to say one of my best friends is someone my ex husband cheated on me with (how is that for forgiveness?), I wouldn’t trade her friendship for anything.  I just wonder why, or maybe how she let it happen-if I still over indulged in adult beverages I might ask her (heck I might ask her anyway).  I know people give lots of different reasons when asked why or how, but Lori and I came to the conclusion today that there is no excuse.  If you choose to stay in a relationship that doesn’t meet your needs SUCK IT UP, don’t break someone’s heart (or in some cases their spirit) because you married or dated the wrong person, end a relationship before you start another.  Again this conversation took place because a man (word used loosely) claiming to be a Christian just broke Lori’s heart by being a two timing, lying cheater!  I thank God that Lori found it in her heart to forgive him and pray for him.
• Everyone has a purpose in your life.  No one is “an accident” in your life.

I wasn’t really sure where this was going to go when I started it, but here is my message.  If you are a Christian think about your testimony.  If you are a Christian let it begin with your own son, honor his marriage, respect his wife, deal with the fact that his wedding vows included leave your mother and cling to your wife-that’s the bible talking MIL not me (how I wish I could say those words to her).  Remember as a Christian treat others the way you want to be treated, does anyone want to be cheated on?  If you have someone in your life and you don’t understand their purpose turn it over to God.

When Lori left today I told Carl, “I love that girl.”  I am going to pray tonight that God sends her a true and honest Godly man, heck he probably has one picked out already.

I go back to work tomorrow and I’m not ready.  I accomplished so much while on vacation, but would love another week at home with Alyssa.

She Is A Lot Braver Then I Am

Does something really simple remind you sometimes how old you really are?  Last night my BFF from highschool called and said, “Can you get out?”  My first answer was no but then she mentioned “good gossip” and I decided I better go.  In 13 minutes I was showered, ponytailed, and ready to go.  We were always good for a short notice “girl time”, and last night was no exception.  But did I mention I got ready in 13 minutes?  What the heck? 

Ok back to bravery.  In order to tell about Alyssa’s bravery I have to give a little background.  Alyssa has a problem with cutting her hair.  Yes, even at nine she still cuts her own hair.  I think counting the most recent “trim” she has done it six times.  Normally it’s just bangs, but this time she got a little bravier and cut the side.  I called for an appointment for her to get “it fixed” and we went today at noon.

This was Alyssa in KY having a detailed conversation with Papaw about a Wampus Cat (that is a story for another day).

Brandy talked to her about cutting her hair and Alyssa promised never to do it again, and then the cutting began and this is Alyssa now.

I told her she looks like her Nanny.  It is really short in the back.  She looks adorable!  Which brings me to the bravery, I would have this cut in a New York minute if I was a little more brave!

I Needed To Giggle

My friend Sue sent me the video above and it made me giggle, thought I would share! 

 

The Club None Of Us Want To Belong To

I have mentioned Angie and her story several times on my blog, this lady has become such a blessing to me.  She reminds me that we can continue our walk of faith and share that walk.  She humbles me, forgiveness does not always come easy to me and I’m working on it.  I go each day and hope she has updated, I laugh, cry, pray and think.  I always look at the replies, because not only is Angie a blessing but so are the other women at her blog.  I want to share a few with you, Caden’s Mom who is currently praying a prayer I know all to well, “Dear God please let him be born alive, please just give me a few minutes with a living child.”  Please join her in that prayer.  Stop by and say hello to Jody who wrote her husband a beautful letter for Father’s Day from her gorgeous little girl in heaven, congratulate her on the baby boy that is coming.  The Fahber Family could use some love-their story is nothing less then a miracle.  Miller Grace’s Mommy is having a good June, it’s the annivesary of her Heavenly Birthday and the first is the hardest (I think).  Emily has me thinking about a tattoo, look at the header on her blog. 

Let me say LOUDLY that whenever I do a post like this I always have a brave soul who says, “Why do you still want to read those blogs, I can’t read those blogs they make me sad.”  Well boo hoo, get over your own discomfort and put yourself in these ladies shoes.  Your bad day at work doesn’t seem so bad, that bill you forgot to pay and the late fee seems insignificant, your MIL and her obnoxious phone calls not so horrible.  I still read these blogs and still reach out to these Moms because I belong to “their club”.  You never get over losing a child, you never heal, you never forget.  My heart will never be whole again. 

Don’t get me wrong you go on, you live life, you enjoy your children-but you never forget.  I don’t feel guilty anymore when I realize I haven’t thought about James in a couple of days, I know that’s God giving me peace and I thank Him for that. 

I pray daily for a mom somewhere that is giving God a piece of her heart.  No parent should know this heart ache but it happens every day…please pray for the above ladies and all the others we don’t even know about.

 

Vacation

I am on vacation this week, so far our to do list is moving in the right direction.  We have deep cleaned two rooms and are going to start on room three today-Alyssa’s room and it could possibly take the rest of the week..ha!  We did a little shopping yesterday and today we are going to lunch with Robyn.  Was happy yesterday to share the pool with Shane and Julie, was tickled to see Julie hold her own with ole’ Shaners.  Lena and Eric came over last night they wanted to watch 30 days and they don’t have cable yet.  I think tomorrow we might go to Winton Woods for a walk with Doodle.

He Is A Great Dad!

My husband gets little to no chance to be a dad to his kids, it breaks my heart.  I think about why someone would not want Carl to have an influence in the lives of their kids and I just don’t get it.  The kids are getting to an age where they are busy, they don’t want to hang with their Dad and I wonder if they have any idea what they are missing.  Their mother goes out of her way to make visits and Carl’s involvement less and less, it’s a shame.  With that said Carl is a terrific dad to Alyssa, what her own father lacks in the parental department Carl makes up for.  God has a way of making things turn out, Carl doesn’t get to be a dad to his own kids and Alyssa doesn’t get to be a daughter to her birth dad, but the two of them have each other.  Carl is her dad and she is his daughter, thank God!! 

I decided that for Father’s Day I wanted to remember the relationsip that Carl had with James, our child.  I had the sketch drawn by Amber Hitsman and Carl said, “OH WOW.”  He loved it!!!

I sit today and watched Carl and Alyssa in the pool and it makes my heart feel good.  It’s just the three of us at home now and Alyssa is pretty excited to be an “only child”, she cracks me up.  Her innocent little comments make me think about Baby James and how different life would be if he was here. 

Moving Day

Well, it’s here.  Lena is moving out today.  I have been awake since 6 a.m. and I’m so sad.  I have cried for two weeks, even offered to give her the money back she paid for rent and her deposit.  I am going to miss her.  I am going to miss hearing, “Hello Mom.” as she flies in the door from work and “awesome blossom” when Alyssa is talking about God knows what and Lena is teasing her.  Our relationship has always been complicated and lately it’s just come easy.  I still get on a roll and we still argue but I think we have both grown to respect each other and know that no matter what we have each other.  I want her to enjoy her new apartment and her freedom, but selfishly I still want to see her and talk to her everyday.  I’m sure she will be fine, it’s me I worry about!  ha!

Daughters, Cousins, Therapy and SNR

I finished my assignments for June today for Scrapbook News and Reviews and it reminded me that I have not been putting a lot of my pages on my blog because I’m busy doing my assignements.  Below are some of the pages from the first couple of issues and there are hundreds more from ladies a lot more talented then little ole’ me that you are missing if you haven’t subscribed to SNR you have no idea what you are missing. 

This page celebrates Alyssa and how relaxed I was at mom, she is a hot mess in these pictures and we were in public.  I hope she always remember to “express herself”.

 

This page was done last month, it was for an article that was written about simple layouts using more then one picture.  The subject is the cutest kid in the world, our cousin Jordan’s little boy Bryson.  He is the highlight of our trips to Casey County.

Can you look at this page and not smile?  This page is all about not juding a book by it’s cover.  People see that tattoo and come up with ideas about Lena that just aren’t true, not just strangers but even our own family.  This girl teaches me almost daily not to judge a book by it’s cover.  This “Wild Child” is about the biggest home body and non partying 20 year old you know.  Tattoo or not she is a class act.

I’ll post some more later.  This month I wrote an article on Scrapbook Therapy (I told my story of how scrapbooking helped me grieve for Baby James) and Easy Page Planning.  I am amazed each month at the talent I get to be a part of.